Real
by ReddTwilight
Summary: I tried to keep up with him as he pulled me along through the dense forest, but I fell. As I looked up into his wild, hungry eyes I realized that this was the real Edward. And for the first time, I was afraid of him.
1. Memory

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight in any way, and give all credit to Stephenie Meyer, and also take no credit for any references made to the novels and movie. Also, I make no money from these stories, they are for the enjoyment purposes of the fans.

A/N: Hello there everyone!!!! Here's the new story. I just want to give you all a head's up. This story does not follow any specific storylines in the novels, it's separate, however they may be some references to the novels in this story, and they'll be there for the sake of being there, not to confuse or mislead, or make reference to another plot in the series. Don't try and make this fit within the novels, it'll just confuse. I hope you all enjoy this story, I know I'll enjoy writing it!!!!

And P.S., this story will be told entirely from Bella's perspective.

ENJOY!!!!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 1: Memory

I let the torrent of hot water fall down on me, burn my skin. I stood there under the spray with my arms wrapped around my naked body, shaking. But I wasn't cold. I was scared. I was scared because I was alone.

I wished fervently that the last twenty-four hours had never happened. I wished there was a way to go back, to make myself forget. I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to feel this fear. I didn't want to be alone. Without Edward.

I had let him drink my blood.

I let him.

I let him.

He didn't bite me. He didn't need to. I was already cut and bleeding openly. The scratch across my palm had not been deep but it had been long. Long enough for a sufficient amount of blood to flow out of it. Had Edward not been right next to me when I had fallen and cut my hand open on the rock he would never have tried to catch me, grabbing my hand and staring down at me with his crazed eyes.

I hadn't stopped him when he brought my palm to his mouth and hesitated before he pressed it firmly against his lips, his eyes shutting tight and roar of utter pleasure escaping from deep in his body. I don't know what made him stop, but it was only a few moments later that he did. I vaguely remember my lips moving when I looked up at him. His eyes were still crazed, still lustful. I could remember saying something like his name and reaching up to thread my fingers in his hair.

The next thing I knew I was lying in the bed in his room, my hand was loosely bandaged and Alice was sitting beside me. I remember waking up screaming Edward's name, telling him to stop. But I hadn't been dreaming. Or had I?

Alice had laid me back down and told me Edward was hunting with Carlisle and Emmett and Jasper. All three of them were keeping him away from me and giving him quite an earful. They didn't want him near me until he had some control over his thirst and himself. Carlisle had forgiven him immediately, Alice told me, but still reprimanded him like any father would, reminding him of his love for me. Emmett hadn't said anything, yet. Jasper was the one who was going to let Edward really have it.

It was then that I began my first crying fit for the night. Alice just held me and told me everything was all right. The danger that had been hunting me, the nomadic vampire that had crossed our path had been dealt with.

I cried into her shoulder telling her that I didn't care about that. I wanted Edward. I told her I loved her and that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but I just didn't feel safe without Edward's arms around me. There was no safer place than the circle of Edward's arms. Alice said she understood, but Edward needed to hunt and clear his mind before he was allowed to be near me.

I must have fallen back asleep because the next thing I remember was a cool hand holding mine and a familiar sweet perfume clouding my mind. Edward was sitting next to me now, his hand holding mine, the other on my forehead.

"Want a shower?" he asked me, his voice soft and gentle.

I looked up into his eyes. They were just as soft, but they were a dark, dark gold. The gold I knew was from hunting, but the dark tint was from my blood. His eyes hadn't turned red because he'd only "had a sip" as he explained it to me when I asked. His eyes were gold from the animal blood but they would remain dark for a few more hours because he had drunk human blood today.

I came out of my reverie then and remembered that I was in the shower that he had asked me about. I shuttered again under the hot cascade of water and lifted a hand to brush some wet hair away that had matted to my face. I felt completely frozen, paralyzed. I couldn't move.

"Bella?" Edward's soft voice came from the other side of the frosted glass door.

I couldn't find the ability to speak so I just nodded.

I knew from the side he stood on my form was all distorted and hazy because of the type of glass the shower was made out of. He could see that I was naked, but he couldn't see any definite shapes, or maybe he could. He was a vampire after all. To me he just looked completely distorted and hazy.

"You ok?" he asked.

I looked up to see that he was looking away from the shower, averting his eyes. Always the gentleman. I shook my head knowing he could see it in his peripheral vision. "Could… Could you come in here with me?" I asked, my voice was low and feeble. "I need you."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." He answered.

"Please. Edward, I… I need your arms around me. Please…"

He sighed on the other side of the glass and I saw him nod. "Give me a minute."

I heard him undress and place his clothes off to the side and then I heard him pop the glass door open as quietly as possible and shut it tightly behind him. Edward would never make that much noise. He was probably doing it just so I could be sure of his presence. I didn't feel him get any closer where he stood behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder at him and nearly gasped. He was closer than I thought. I looked him up and down and then turned away. No desire was flowing through me right now. I didn't care that he was naked, that I was naked, and that we were in a shower together.

And then I felt him wrap his right arm around me. He wrapped it across my shoulders and I immediately brought my hands up to hold his forearm where it lay across my collarbone. He held me just tight enough to let me know he was there but not so tight that it was painful. He stepped into the water with me and brought his left hand up and laid it across his right to complete the circle that I felt so safe in.

I pressed my back to him leaning my head against his shoulder, clutching at his arm. I never wanted him to let go. I never wanted to move again. If I had a choice I would stay here in Edward's arms. Nowhere else felt this good.

"Don't leave." I whispered, my body still trembling. I knew he could hear the fear in my voice and it made him embrace me just a little tighter.

"I'm not going to." I felt him brush his lips against my hair and he hugged me closer.

I shut my eyes and turned my face up to the water letting it fall across my face as my mind began to unwillingly replay the last thirty-six hours…


	2. Ignorance is Bliss

ENJOY!!!!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 2: Ignorance is Bliss

I had been so happy only a day ago. Life had been simple: school, home, homework, and Edward. It all flowed smoothly from one event into the next. I'd wake up in the morning wrapped up in a cocoon of a blanket, but also wrapped up in Edward's arms. I loved it when he spent the night. When he held me close and hummed me to sleep with my lullaby. It made the rest of my life much more bearable.

I'd get up and Edward would disappear with the same promise every morning that he'd be back to get me for school. But this morning was different.

When I woke up Edward was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of my room watching me sleep. I sat up and noticed the hard, concentrating look on his face. Something was wrong.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice wary. I got out of my bed and walked across the room to crawl into his lap. His arm came around me but his expression didn't change.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know yet. Alice is… seeing things. She's not sure yet what they are. But you're pretty much in all of them."

I let out a breath as Edward continued. "That and I picked up a new scent this morning. A vampire."

I shuddered, but it was from the coolness of his body and not the thought that a wild vampire was lurking around. Edward would keep me safe. I knew he would. He always promised to. But a tiny, tiny part of was scared. He'd explained to me on several occasions that his family came across nomadic vampires from time to time, some more civilized than others. Some not at all…

"How close?" I asked looking up at him.

"Close enough that I could smell him." Edward answered quietly. I translated that in my mind to mean close, extremely close. "But it's gone now." Edward breathed out. "I don't know what's going on." He looked down at me. "Would you be opposed to staying extra close to me for the next few days?"

"Of course not." I responded, and snuggled a little closer to him. I shuddered again at the iciness of his skin. I could feel it through his shirt even. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, it did nothing to help but I loved that he did it.

"I may become severely protective of you. Will you be difficult about that?" His tone was very serious.

"Depends." I answered honestly.

"Bella, please. Could you just be cooperative for the next few days and not give me a hard time?" His eyes bored into mine. They were gentle, but hard.

"I suppose." I said softly, conceding. There was no point in arguing. He would still do whatever he thought was best whether I consented to it or not.

"Thank you." He breathed, sounding greatly relieved. He bowed his head and kissed my lips softly. "I should probably head home."

"Yeah…" I was very reluctant right now to move from my current position, but Charlie was up and if he came through the door there was going to be a problem.

Edward set me on my feet before getting up and then placed one more light kiss on my lips. "I'll be back in a half hour." He promised, and disappeared out my window.

I didn't know at that point that I wouldn't have to "cooperate" for a few days. It was going to be more like a few hours…

~*~*~*~*~*

"Tell me exactly what you saw, Alice, don't leave anything out just because Bella is here."

I sat next to Edward on the couch in the front room of his house, his hand was gripping mine where they lay in the little space between us. I could tell he was nervous, and Edward rarely let me see that he was nervous. He glared at Alice where she sat in the chair diagonal from us. Her eyes were closed in concentration and she held her temples like she had a headache.

"I told you, Edward, twice already… It's not completely definite yet. I'm just getting images of this nomad, nothing finite. But you're always protecting Bella. I don't see her being harmed at all."

Alice opened her eyes and looked at me first and then Edward. "She'll be fine." She said reassuringly. "That is definite. That I can clearly see."

"That doesn't help how I feel, but thanks for trying again." Edward let go of my hand and got up from the couch disappearing.

"Sorry, Bella." Alice said getting up. She sat next to me and put an arm around my shoulders. I let her hug me.

"It's all right, Alice. I know he can't help it." I got up off the couch and started heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"You tell me." I said quietly without looking back at her.

"I have no idea, Bella. Literally."

"I'm going away." I said as I paused at the door, my hand on the knob.

"He won't like that."

I turned to face Alice who was still sitting on the couch. "Then he shouldn't have gotten up and left me alone first." I shut the door behind me loudly as I walked out.

~*~*~*~*~*

"I'm impressed, Isabella Swan."

I looked down from my perch in the spruce I had climbed up. Edward stood a fifteen or twenty feet below me on the ground gazing up at me.

"Why? Because I climbed this high without falling or breaking anything?" I asked sarcasm and anger dripping from my tone.

"And without scraping yourself." Edward added. He sank into a slight crouch and lunged upward gracefully, landing quietly on the branch next to me. I had situated myself in the part of tree where the trunk began branching out. I was straddling the thinnest of the branches, which was still rather thick, and leaning up against another one. Edward sat on his haunches on the branch next to me watching me as I shut my eyes and tried to ignore him.

"It took me twenty minutes just to get halfway here."

"I figured that. I'm sorry I walked out on you, Bella. I just got a little frustrated." His voice was even but I could the edge in it. "Alice thoughts upset me. I mean her literal thoughts, not her visions. I can understand that she can't see everything clearly yet because whatever this vampire is deciding, it's going with its instincts and not following a set path."

"Uh huh."

"Bella." Edward moved a little closer to me. "Move up just a little. I don' like you sitting like that all alone with no support."

"I can take care of myself, Edward." I said not opening my eyes to look at him.

"Just move up so I can sit behind you."

I did so and he moved behind me so I could lean back against him between his knees. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I reached up and held his arms where they braced across my chest.

"Better?" I asked.

"Yes. I really am sorry I walked out on you like that. I didn't mean to leave you alone. I just got so… Frustrated."

"You can try using another word." I jibed.

"I can't think of a more descriptive way to explain how I feel right now. I needed to get away from Alice, not you. She's telling me the truth when it comes to her visions, but her actual thoughts on those visions say something else and she sometimes forget that I can hear those. She gets so caught up in seeing things that she forgets to guard her own thoughts and they start to fly free. It's also rather difficult to block them out if she shouting them without realizing it."

Edward took a breath at the end of his speech and I sighed with him leaning more against him. This felt good. Just sitting here with him like this. It didn't matter where we were, we were together and that's all that counted in this moment.

"Would you spend the weekend here?" He asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence between us.

"So you can keep an eye on me right?" I asked quirking an eyebrow, my eyes shut again.

"So I can protect you." He clarified, emphasizing the word 'protect'. "I told you I might get a little obsessive."

"Might?" I teased. "Try are."

He chuckled and I was silent for a moment while I considered his request. It wasn't a problem. Charlie was going away for the weekend starting this afternoon with some friends. Another fishing trip. I was glad. He needed time away from his job. It was stressing him out. This time I didn't even need to badger him to go, he just up and decided Wednesday morning that he and a couple guys from the station were going to leave this afternoon and come back Sunday afternoon.

"So?" Edward asked tightening his hold on me. I smiled to myself and opened my eyes to look around me. "Stay the weekend with me." It was more a statement than a question.

I turned my head, angling it up to gaze into his warm, honey-colored eyes and nodded slowly. "You win." I whispered.

"Thank you." Edward whispered in response, and leaned down to close the space between our mouths.

~*~*~*~*

Everything changed that night. One minute Edward and I were sitting on a rock watching the sun set over the river, and the next he was suddenly stiff, sniffing the air. He grabbed my hand so fast I didn't even realize his fingers were wrapped around mine and he pulled me back toward the house. He called out for Esme and Rosalie and they appeared so suddenly it was like they had been in the room waiting for us to come inside.

I wished afterward that I was still in the dark, ignorant to everything that was going to happen. I wished that Alice never told me what she saw. Despite the fact that Edward was always at my side guarding me in her visions, my blood was still going to be spilled.

I didn't care about that, what scared me most about her visions was that my blood was going to be spilled… And a vampire was going to be at my side. One who thought of nothing else, when it came to my blood, but drinking every last drop.

I was normally not afraid of Edward, I trusted him with my life. But it was the shudder that ran through his body when Alice informed him that he would be at my side, right next to me, when wet crimson liquid would flow from my body that scared me. I knew he was thinking the same exact thing that I was.

Neither of us knew if could really control himself. He always said he couldn't, and always tried so hard not to let me fall whenever we went into the woods together. Even just the scent of my blood, free from my body would be too much for him.

What was going to happen when it flowed, unstopped, and he was right there? Would he be able to control himself?

What if…?

And my thoughts stopped abruptly as Edward suddenly stood. "He's moving away." He said quietly.

"For now." Alice confirmed. "He'll be back. He caught all of our scents here. He knows that Bella is well guarded. We can't keep her in the house, Edward. Not all day tomorrow. I see you leading her away, somewhere in the woods."

"That doesn't help, Alice." Edward growled.

"Well, that's all I can give you right now." She closed her eyes in concentration for a minute. "He'll be back here tomorrow." She said quietly. "Why did Carlisle and Emmett and Jasper have to go hunting?" She groaned.

"Edward, please, give Alice some credit." Esme said calmly. "We'll keep Bella safe tonight, there's nothing to worry about right now. You heard your sister. I'll contact Carlisle and let him now to come home immediately."

"Please, we're going to need everyone." Edward said sitting back down next to me. I slipped my hand into his and he squeezed it in return but only for a moment. He didn't look at me.

"Do I get a say in this?" I asked.

"No." Edward said flatly, his tone harsh.

"Of course you do, Bella." Esme sat down on my other side. Rosalie just glared at me.

"None of this would be happening if she wasn't here."

"Rosalie!" Esme hissed. Edward looked up at her and snarled loudly. Rosalie pulled her lips back over her teeth and hissed just as loudly. Esme was never one to raise her voice but she glared at Edward and Rosalie. "Stop it the both of you! This is not about you, this is about Bella and keeping her safe. She's part of this family now, Rose, and you will respect that." It was the first time I had heard Esme sound like a real parent. She sounded like Carlisle.

Edward didn't take his eyes off Rosalie for the next several minutes as Alice explained more of the visions she was having. When she finally concluded that I was going to be safe and the vampire would be dealt with, that was when Edward finally looked at me again.

"Don't worry." He said into my ear.

"I'm not worrying about me. I'm worrying about you."

"Don't worry about anything. We'll keep you safe. I'll keep you safe. This is all going to be over by tomorrow night."

"This is a young vampire, maybe two or three years old. Not a newborn, he has some control over his urges, but when he picked up Bella's scent it drove him immediately toward her. Now that he knows that she's with four other vampires right now, he's rethinking his strategy." Alice opened her eyes and glanced around.

"He doesn't know yet that there are three more vampires. That's going to make this all too easy." Rosalie said quietly. "This isn't going to be a problem."

Esme got up nodding. "No, it won't be. But I'm still going to go call Carlisle and tell him and Emmett and Jasper to get back here immediately. They're not too far away." Esme flitted from the room silently.

I looked up at Edward and his eyes met mine. I knew we were thinking the same thing again, the same thing from before.

Could he really control himself?


	3. Danger

ENJOY!!!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*

Chapter 3: Danger

I woke up from a sleepless night cradled against Edward's stone body. He was sitting up in his bed and I was cuddled in his lap, my arms around his neck. I woke up from the stupor that I had been in when his arms wrapped tighter around me and he whispered my name as a question in my ear.

"Ready to move?" he asked.

"I think so, but I really don't want to."

Edward chuckled and sighed loosening his grip but not letting me go. He tilted his head back for a moment.

"How is everything this morning?" I asked tentatively.

"Tense." Edward answered honestly. I appreciated that. "Carlisle and Emmett keep circling around trying to corner this vampire before he gets too close but he just keeps disappearing. Rosalie went out with them early this morning around five and even she couldn't get this thing to come closer."

"Maybe its not attracted to her scent." I said thoughtfully. "Maybe someone who smells better to this vampire needs to go out there." I looked up at Edward with cautious eyes.

His snapped open and he stared down at me incredulously, his eyes half crazed with fear. "No." he hissed, and gently pushed me pushed from his lap. He was off the bed and turning me to face him, holding my shoulders in a second. "I will NOT do that, Bella. How dare you even think it."

I will not allow you to offer yourself as bait to this thing. He obviously is after you. Alice is positive of that now. He wants you. I will not allow you to draw that thing close enough just so we can destroy him. It's too dangerous."

"Do you have a better plan?" I snapped. "Alice said this vampire was coming back here, to the house, today." I took a breath and continued calmly. "It's worth a try if it brings him close enough. You'll be there protecting me, remember?" I raised my hand to cup his face. "I know you'll keep me safe. I trust you, Edward."

He glared at me, his eyes soft and his expression hard. "What about what's supposed to happen?" he asked, referring to the fact that my blood may be spilled in his presence today.

"We don't even know if that's going to really happen. We can always take precautions to prevent it, right? Alice's visions are subjective, you told me that. You know that." I tried my best to hide the anxiety in my voice, but I knew I failed at it. Edward had told me once I couldn't act. I couldn't lie or bluff either. I had no such thing as a poker face.

"I do. But that still doesn't mean you can suggest such reckless endeavors and expect me to allocate them. That's not going to happen, Bella." He brushed some hair behind my ear and sighed. "I love you, I'm not gong to allow you to put yourself in harm's way."

I shook my head at him, irritated, and got up from the bed. "Edward, I'm in harm's way every second of every day." I turned to face him. "As you keep reminding me of yourself."

Edward looked at me surprised. He hadn't been expecting me to play that card. Good, at least I had his attention now. I walked back over to him and he stood as I approached. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my head to his chest.

"Aren't you always telling me how dangerous it is for me to be in love with you? And vice versa?" I glanced up at him.

"Yes, but I'm not hunting you." Edward held me out at arm's length and stared me down. "That's what you're not grasping here, Bella. You don't actually realize how dangerous putting yourself that close really is."

"Yes I do, Edward!" I raised my voice only a little bit, and only because he was being so incorrigible right now. "I'm close right now." I whispered as I wrapped my arms back around him pulling myself against his body. "Just let me try."

"I can't do that, Bella. You're too important to me to risk so recklessly."

I pulled back and glanced up at him. "It wouldn't be reckless." I pleaded. "We can plan something, come up with a strategy… I don't know. You're always going to be with me. I'll be safe. Unless you can come up with a better idea."

"I'm sure I can, just give me a minute." Edward said seriously. "You stay here with me and the others hunt this thing."

I scoffed. "There's no guarantee they'll catch him, Edward. You know that."

"I know that I'm not going to let you put yourself out there as bait, Bella! That's what I do know!"

I pulled myself from his grasp and turned my back to him. "The only reason you're fighting me on this is because you know I'm right. You know it'll work. You know I'll be safe." I turned back to him. I softened my eyes and kept my tone under control. "You know I'm right, Edward."

Edward sighed heavily glancing at me and stalked from the room then, slamming the door behind him. I knew he was going to talk to Carlisle. He knew I was right.

~*~*~*~*

"I really hate this." Edward grumbled. "This is so stupid, Bella."

"Stop it, it's a good plan." Alice said defensively. "You'll be near her the entire time. This vampire is so crazed by her scent he won't even notice yours. He won't even realize it's a trap. We're going to be fine. We'll handle this quickly." Alice glanced at Edward and then at me.

"I'm glad you approve." I smiled at her.

We were all inside right now. Alice and I were playing cards, although why I bother trying to play any games with Alice when she already knows the outcome, I don't know. She wasn't even trying which made the game even more infuriating. Edward stood at the back window watching out through the glass. Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper were running a perimeter checking the surrounding area. They kept coming across the vampire's scent, but could never quite catch him.

We'd gone through the plan a half dozen times already. Wherever this vampire decided to show up I would be there waiting. Edward would be close, but out of site until the appropriate moment. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice would be waiting to attack, and Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie would be close in case extra trouble arose.

Esme was not a fighter nor was she a killer, and Rosalie hated to get her hands dirty, but because Emmett was involved she would be there. Carlisle was more staying out of the fight in case he needed to attend to me, for any reason.

Edward was not thrilled by that thought but he knew it was necessary. He let out a loud, agitated sigh from where he stood at the window.

"Stop being so pessimistic." Alice chided, not looking up from picking up a card from the pile between us and placing another from her hand face down. "Gin." She said, smiling dazzlingly as she placed her hand down for me to see the seven-card straight in diamonds.

"I quit." I said throwing my cards down.

"Oh come on, one more game." Alice begged. She was already dealing the cards. "I'll let you win."

"Deal me in." Edward said, tearing his eyes from the window and stalking over to us. He sat down and pulled me into his lap as he took his cards from Alice.

"This isn't going to work." I said as I arranged my hand.

"I won't look at your cards, I promise." Edward bowed his head to kiss my hair.

I actually won the game that time, thanks to Edward's legitimate cheating skills, and the fact that Alice had shuffled the deck exactly right so that I got a hand where each turn that was mine, or the one before, produced a card that I needed, or a card I could keep hostage from one of them. I consented to another game after, and won that one as well.

"They're back." Esme said as she floated into the room. The three of us looked to the glass window as Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper leapt over the river and were at the door in a second.

"Nothing." Emmett said angrily as they walked in.

"Not nothing. We just didn't catch him, again." Jasper clarified.

Carlisle shut the door behind him as he walked in last. "We found his trail. He's much closer today than anticipated. He's not very far right now."

All eyes fell on me in that moment. I didn't hear Rosalie enter the room but she was suddenly at Emmett's side and Alice was at Jasper's. Edward held me tight in his lap his arms forming a brace across my chest.

"Now?" I asked looking up at Carlisle.

"Soon." He responded, glancing out the window.

Edward let out a quiet growl and I felt his embrace grow just a little tighter.

~*~*~*~*~*

A few hours later I found myself down by the river at the entrance to the woods that lay beyond the Cullen's house. Edward was above me hiding in a tree, waiting to spring and grab me, or spring an attack. Whatever it came down to. I shivered at the sudden fear I felt. This was a stupid idea. Why had I suggested it. I looked up but Edward was completely out o site.

"Just stay still for a moment." He whispered loud enough for me to hear. Not a problem.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were waiting in the woods not ten feet from me. We weren't going to need all of them, but they each would serve a specific purpose if this all went right. I knew Carlisle was close by, but I didn't know where. Esme was in the house, watching silently.

"God, this is such a bad idea!" Edward hissed above me. "Why did I agree to it?"

"I think I'm starting to believe and agree with you. But it's too late to back out now." I whispered. I could have sworn I just heard something rustle behind me.

"Shush." Edward's disembodied voice commanded quietly. "Kneel by the water." I did as he said. "Splash it quietly." I patted my hands across the surface of the water. "Shake your hair."

"Edward…"

"Shhh… He's coming. He caught your scent. God, he's completely controlled by it."

I stood up slowly feeling my fee moving backward. "No! Get down." Edward hissed. "Bella, get down, he's here!"

I stood frozen, my back pressed to the tree behind me. I gripped at it just for the sake of something to hold on to. I stared into the opening of the woods, my eyes wide in fear, as a low, loud growl built up that I knew wasn't Edward's.

I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up and heart begin to race. My breathing turned from short gasps to hyperventilating. Stalking out of the forest slowly, menacingly in front of me was a lanky, black-haired vampire, his bright red eye fixated on me and his mouth open… Ready for the kill.


	4. Mistake

ENJOY!!!!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 4: Mistake

"Hey. You all right now? You stopped shaking."

Edward's voice snapped me from my memories. When I opened my eyes I realized I had turned in his arms under the shower, and I was now facing him my arms around his waist and his around mine. I laid my head against his chest and sighed.

"How long have we been standing here?"

"Ten minutes. You ok now?"

"Yeah, I think so. Could you… Could you wash me?"

"Yeah." Edward reached forward and turned the nozzle to the left to increase the temperature of the hot water and then wrapped his arm back around me. "Bella?"

"Mm hm?"

"Can you hand me the sponge?"

"Yeah." I turned in his arms again so my back was to him and reached up to get the sponge that was on the shelf in front of me. I handed it to Edward, who kept his right arm across my collarbone holding me against him. He washed my arms first and then my stomach and then my breasts. I held onto his arm as much as I could as he washed me, my eyes downcast the entire time.

He wasn't trying to be seductive or seduce me in any way. He was giving me security. His embrace, the feel of his body against mine, his quiet, even breathing in my ear. Just his proximity felt so safe. He was here. That's all I needed right now. Him.

We've never been physical, although both of us desperately want it. If sex happens tonight between us, it'll be Edward who initiates it. And it won't be about sex for the sake of it, it'll be about comfort. He wouldn't take me that way. He would do it to hold me close, to show me how much me loves me. To let me know I'm safe.

"Ready to get out? You're all clean." His voice was so soft and reassuring.

"Ok."

Edward reached forward and turned the water off while still keeping an arm around me and pulled the white towel down from the door that he had hung there for me. He wrapped me up in it and brought his arm across my chest once more. I grabbed it and held on.

"Bella, I want to get a towel for myself, will you be all right for a minute?"

I sniffed to myself and wrapped the towel more tightly under my arms and nodded. I let him go and heard the shower door open. I followed him out averting my eyes as he wrapped a similar white towel around his waist. He then picked me up and sat me on one of the counters. I sat with my knees together while he stood in front of me watching as I kept my eyes on the floor.

He reached out and sighed as he tucked some wet hair behind my ear. I looked up at him, at the small smile on his face, and I knew immediately that he would never do anything to hurt me ever again. Edward leaned in then and kissed me. At first it was gentle and I trembled at his sudden touch. His hands came down to lay flat against the counter and mine grasped his face.

His kiss became a little harder and I trembled again. Edward wrapped one arm around me his hand moving up into my wet hair while he pushed the towel open at my waist with the other and parted my thighs.

"Edward, I don't… I'm a virgin… I mean, I love you, but you're always saying about control…"

He placed a finger on my lips. "Shush. This isn't about that, love. This is about you." He pulled his finger away and kissed me again. "You need to know, rather, I need to show you that I can control myself. That you don't need to be afraid. I'm right here."

"But what if you…?" I stared.

Edward sighed and looked at me for a moment, his smile gone. His eyes were so intense with love I couldn't look away. I could feel my heart beating faster and my breath caught as he slid his hands under my thighs and slowly pulled me toward him, my legs parting around his waist as he fit himself between them. He pulled his towel off and then pulled me even closer, my legs wrapping around him.

"Don't worry about that, Bella. If there is any blood it'll be so little I won't even notice it."

"But."

"Shh…" He placed his finger on my lips again and then pulled it away. He took my arms and fixed them around his neck and then took my legs and made sure they were tight around his hips. He then pushed my hair away from my neck and tipped my head to the side to expose my neck further. He hovered over me for a moment, as if he were deciding where the perfect place on my neck was to bite, but he didn't. He leaned down and kissed my pulse where it hammered wrapping his arms around me and thrusting forward into my body.

I groaned in discomfort and threw my head back slightly, the impact of his body against mine shocking me. It felt so good. He pulled me closer making sure there was no space between our bodies and he was completely buried in me.

"Bella." He groaned my name, his teeth clenched together.

He pulled out a little and thrust back in. He groaned my name again as he repeated the motion over and over until I started thrusting back against him. He tightened his arms around me and I reciprocated by locking my arm around his neck and my legs around his waist. I could feel my feet stroking his bottom involuntarily each time he thrust into me.

I pushed back against him matching each of his movements with the level of fervor. His lips stayed at my neck, pressed to my pulse. He was torturing himself unnecessarily in my eyes, but I'm sure to him the contact was very significant.

I wasn't expecting an end so quickly, or maybe we'd been at it for a while, but Edward's orgasm caught me completely off guard. He rocked against me holding me impossibly close to him shouting my name as I shouted his back. My own climax ripped through me and I grabbed at him anywhere I could. One hand clutched his lower back the other was buried in his hair.

When we finally stopped convulsing in each other's arms I let my legs fall from around Edward's waist and my hands fell to the cool skin there instead. He let his head fall to my shoulder, panting, holding my ribs.

"Oh, Bella." He gasped. "I never expected… God."

"What?" I panted. I let one hand come back up into his hair and pull his head from my shoulder. "What is it?" I asked looking up into his dark, honey eyes.

"I never expected a feeling quite like that." He panted.

He leaned down and kissed me then, very passionately. I buried my other hand in his hair and responded with just as much ardor and heat wrapping my legs back around him. We parted and simply held each other close for several long minutes. God, that had been intense.

Edward finally pulled out of me and set me down on my feet. He handed me a robe which had been hanging on the back of the door. It was a dark blue, satin, knee-length robe. I shrugged it on and tied the sash together leaving my towel on the floor. Edward pulled his shorts on, just his shorts and then scooped me up in his arms.

I threw mine around his neck and snuggled against him as he carried me to his room and laid me down on his bed. He got in beside me tucking the blanket around me first and then pulling me flush against him.

"Bella, I want to say this now. I'm so sorry for what I did, and I swear to you it will NEVER happen again. I swear."

I turned so I was facing him and he fixed he blanket as I did so. I reached up and cupped the side of his face. "I'm not going to say it's all right, and I'm not going to say I'm fine. But I will say I forgive you, and I believe you." I leaned up and kissed him softly. "I love you." I whispered, my eyes still shut.

"I love you." Edward responded. He wrapped his arms around me drawing me closer and pressed my head to his chest. "You'll never have to fear me again, Bella, I promise."

"I know…"

I was asleep moments later…

~*~*~*~*

The next morning I woke up like I had been in a trance, a perfect, dreamy, comfortable trance. I stretched my arms experimentally and yawned rolling over and finding Edward lying on his back with his hands behind his head staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression on his face.

"Good morning." I said quietly, my voice was tired but still conveyed all the emotion I felt right now. I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm across his chest. Edward didn't wrap an arm around me in return. I picked my head up moving a little closer to him and looking down at him. I know I looked confused. He always wrapped an arm around me when I moved closer.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

"Nothing." He responded, his tone harsh. I felt a little stung.

"Did I do something?"

"No."

"Than what's wrong?" I reached up and ran my hand through his hair ruffling it gently. He looked at me finally, his golden topaz eyes were hard. I kept my hand where it was entangled at the back of his head.

"Nothing I promise."

"You're lying to me."

"Is it that obvious?" I nodded. "I'm sorry." He ran a hand up my back under the robe. I moved a little closer so I was lying on top of him now and pressed my mouth to his. "Bella, no." He pushed me back.

"Why? Las night-"

"Last night shouldn't have happened. Last night was a-" Edward stopped his thought before he could finish it. It suddenly dawned on me what was bothering him. He regretted last night. I swallowed hard and finished his sentence for him.

"Mistake?"

"I didn't want to say it." He whispered, returning his gaze to the ceiling. "But yes, last night was a mistake, Bella. It shouldn't have happened. I just… Wasn't thinking."

I stared at Edward for a moment, unable to find any words to say to him, and then I dropped my gaze from his face and slowly moved off of him to lay on my side facing away from him. I curled into a loose ball and half buried my face in the pillow. Tears began to well in my eyes and threatened to fall at any moment. I felt like my heart was being torn into tiny insignificant pieces. How could he say that?

"Bella, please, don't be upset." He said. I felt him roll onto his side beside me. "I'm sorry, I really didn't want to say anything. I wanted to wait until later, explain my feelings to you."

"Then why did you say something? Why didn't you wait?" I accused. I felt the first couple tears spring free and roll down my cheek.

"I don't want to lie to you. I love you, and believe me last night was amazing. I've never felt anything before like I did last night with you. It was… Incredible. But it honestly should not have happened. The danger that I present… If I were to…"

"What?" I snapped, not turning over. "Hurt me?"

"No." His voice was quiet now, soft. "Get you pregnant."

"Please, Edward. You're more responsible than that, and so am I." I lay there in silence for a minute, letting the hot tears fall from my eyes to the pillow. "Get out." I hissed.

"Bella, please. I want to talk about this." Edward pleaded softly. He reached out and laid his hand on my side. "I don' mean to hurt you."

"Don't touch me. I don't want to talk to you." I cried. "I want to go home. Get out of this bed, Edward. I don't want you near me."

"Bella… Please." I could hear his voice beginning to crack.

"You just broke my heart, Edward. Get out!" I cried harder, my tears now flowing. I shook with my sobs and cried into the pillow.

I don't know how long I laid there like that, but eventually I felt Edward pull me onto my opposite side and press me against him as I continued to cry into his shirt.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, but I did, and I'm so sorry." His voice broke just as hard as mine and I knew he would be crying as well if he could. "I'm such a fool."

"Yes you are." I concurred. "How can you say that? That last night was a mistake?" I beat his chest weakly with my fist and cried even harder.

"I didn't actually mean it that way. I meant… I don't know, Bella. Please, don't take it that way. Please, believe me, I enjoyed every moment and I would gladly do it again if…"

I picked my head up and looked at him. His eyes were soft, pleading, and the saddest I'd ever seen them. "If what?" I asked. I made an unsuccessful attempt to wipe the moisture from my face.

"If… If I knew I could control myself again. You're right, we're both responsible adults. But there's still the chance I could hurt you. Last night my mind was completely diverted because all I wanted was for you to know how much I love you. I wasn't thinking about anything else. But next time… I'll be thinking about the way it feels when you wrap your legs around me, when you kiss my neck… The way it feels when I'm inside you… God, Bella, don't you understand?"

"Of course I do."

"Please, forgive me."

"I can't, Edward." I bit my lip. "At least not right now. I'm in too much pain right now. I need… I need some time to think about this." I sat up then and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "I need to go home and think about this, ok?"

I heard Edward sit up behind me and felt him move close enough to wrap his arms across my collarbone. I sighed heavily and shut my eyes. His embrace was more than enough to convince me to forgive him, but after what he had just put my heart through, I just couldn't forgive him that quickly.

I let Edward draw me back down onto the bed and pull me against him. For a moment I didn't realize what he was doing, but then I felt his bare chest through the robe I was still wearing. He had taken his clothes off. I felt him untying the sash and I let him slip the satin material down my arms and heard it flutter to the floor.

Edward then began kissing the back of my neck and, wrapping one arm around my stomach and pulling me flush against him. I closed my eyes and sighed as his lips traced down my shoulder. He crossed his arm diagonally up my body to hold me against him as he continued to kiss down my side.

He wasn't going to ask me to make love, he was just going to lay here with me like this, mark my skin with my lips. I don't know why I was allowing him. But it all felt so good, so safe. He was so gentle. I reached behind me to wind my hand in his hair and pull him closer to me. He began kissing back up my neck and lingered on the skin there.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"I'll stay. For now."

Edward paused for a moment and picked his head up. "You sure? I'm not trying to force a decision by doing this. I'm trying to find a compromise for us. I can handle this. This is easy for me to control. Bella, I love you. I'm trying to prove that."

"You don't have to." I whispered. "I know you do. Keep going. I'll tell you if I want you to stop."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." He whispered, pressing his lips to my neck again. I felt him squeeze his eyes shut.

"And I'll forgive you." I responded, shutting my eyes. "When I'm ready."


	5. Lacrymosa

A/N: I take no credit for the song "Lacrymosa" that appears in this chapter and give all credit to Evanescence.

ENJOY!!!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 5: Lacrymosa

I sat out in the car waiting for Edward to come back. We had just been about to drive out so we could talk. It's been two weeks and I haven't forgiven him yet. I'm not holding a grudge; I just still haven't gotten over what he said. My mind just can't seem to process it. My heart doesn't want to let it go.

I reached out in front of me and turned on the Volvo's CD player. Good, I thought as the music started playing, he'd kept my favorite CD in. I turned the volume down just for a moment to see if I could hear Edward making his way back out to the garage. Even if he was I probably wouldn't hear him. Might as well sit here and listen till he returns. He'd gone inside to talk to Alice for 'just a moment' but that had been five minutes ago.

Whatever.

I turned the volume back up and sat back in the seat closing my eyes and just listened. As the songs played through each other I realized how they all seem to apply to my relationship with Edward. It felt strange how each song conveyed a different emotion, or how it felt like it applied to a different aspect of our relationship. The CD played through four songs before I finally felt the seat next to me shift.

"Hey, sorry." Edward said quietly as he buckled his belt and started the engine. "Didn't mean for that to take so long."

"I don't care." I said opening my eyes and sitting up straight.

"Ready?"

"I've been ready."

Edward drove out of the garage and down the drive straight out onto the highway.

"So, where to start?" He asked. He reached forward and turned the CD player off.

"I don't know." I responded, staring out the window and not bothering to look at him. "How about why you haven't so much as kissed me since that morning?"

"I didn't know if it would upset you." Edward stopped at a red light and looked over at me. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

"O f course I do." I said turning to face him.

"Right now?"

"Yes."

Edward leaned over and placed a light, chaste kiss on my lips. He pulled back with a small smile on his face and leaned in again, hesitantly. This time his kiss was a little harder, a little more passionate. He pulled back again as the light turned green and he hit the gas.

"Satisfactory?" he asked as we continued along the highway.

"I suppose." I responded returning my gaze to the window.

"How long are you going to be like this?" He glanced over at me, genuine concern in his eyes.

"How long are you going to keep pushing this whole, 'I'm not safe', crap?"

"Fair question. But answer mine first." He looked over at me again, his tone serious now.

I sighed heavily, considering my answer. Then I met his gaze. "I'm done." I said simply. "I forgive you."

"You're lying." Edward said as he stopped at another red light. He looked at me. "About being done. I'll believe you forgive me, but you're not done being upset."

"Do you expect me to be?" I asked, some of the angst I was feeling making its way into my tone.

Edward didn't respond. He could heat the pain in my voice and knew better than to respond. I listened to him breathe for a couple minutes, obviously thinking about something. I remained silent in my seat, breathing noiselessly through my nose, just staring out the window, my chin in my hand.

"Bella, please say something." Edward said, finally breaking the silence between us.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything."

"I'm tired."

"Physically?"

I looked over at him, my hand falling to my lap, and I sighed. "No, of this… This twisted thing between us, Edward. We have to figure this out." I said calmly, gesturing to the space amid our seats.

"Agreed. But where do we start?"

"Do you want me?" I asked sincerely.

"You know I do." Edward responded just as sincerely.

"Do you want me physically?"

Edward's voice was gruff when he answered. "Yes."

"Then cut the crap and just love me like you want to." I pleaded. "Do you even know the emotional pain I'm in right now?"

He looked at me, fire in his eyes, but not anger. "Yes, I imagine I do. Do you have any contemplation of how hard this is for me, Bella?"

"I do, but I could know a lot more if you drop the guard and let me in sometimes." I glanced at him quickly and turned my gaze back to the front of the car.

"I suppose you're right. But I have that guard for a very specific reason." He said defensively.

"Do you love me or not?"

"What kind of question is that, Bella?"

"Just answer it. Do you love me?" I stared at him, waiting for a reply.

"Yes, I love you." Edward said returning my gaze, his topaz eyes smoldering into mine.

"Then let me in, make love to me. Talk to me, Edward."

Edward didn't respond again, but kept his eyes on the road. I noticed that his grip on the steering wheel was tight enough to break it, but nothing was happening. I reached forward and turned the CD player back on, turning the volume up to drown out the silence between us. I knew the song that was starting, and I quickly went through the lyrics in my mind. It was so appropriate right now. I gazed out the window and began to sing along without thinking about it.

"Out on your own cold and alone again can this be what you really want, baby? Blame it on me set your guilt free nothing can hold you back now Now that your gone I feel like myself again grieving the things I can't repair and willing…To let you blame it on me and set your guilt free I don't want to hold you back now love I can't change who I am not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me and in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up my love wasn't enough And you can blame it on me just set your guilt free, honey I don't want to hold you back now love"

I let the one tear that had slipped free fall and caress my cheek as the song ended. I turned from the window to stare out the front of the car again. From the corner of my eye I saw Edward turn the CD player off and stare at me.

"Bella?"

"What?" I asked, not looking at him.

"I'm so sorry." His tone was so true, so real it made me look at over him for a moment in surprise.

"Yeah, I know." I said turning back to stare out the windshield. "You've been saying that everyday for the past two weeks."

"Well, I'm going to show you that I mean it."

I let out a surprised yelp as Edward turned the Volvo sharply around, back toward his house.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a little afraid of him.

"I'm taking you back home." He looked over at me, his eyes soft and his voice velvet. "I'm going to make love to you the way that I should have that morning." He reached down and took my hand threading our fingers. I pulled mine back.

"Don't say things you don't mean." I said quietly, my tone harsh. Edward grabbed my hand, surprising me, and laced our fingers again. He raised my hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"I do mean it, Bella."

We were coming up on the driveway that led to his garage. He pulled in smoothly and cut the engine, letting go of my hand only to get out and rush over to my side like a vampire and open my door for me. He offered me his hand looking down at me with his sincere, golden eyes.

"Bella." He spoke my name softly, "Come with me." He smiled down at me, and I found myself taking his hand and letting him lead me through the house.


	6. Making Love, Making Up

ENJOY!!!

ReddTwilight

~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 6: Making Love, Making up

Edward locked his bedroom door behind us and I turned to look at him. He was leaning against the door, his back to it, just staring at me. He began to walk toward me and I met him halfway, clutching his waist between my hands as he held my face between his and kissed me lightly.

"You have to promise me something." I breathed as we broke apart.

"Anything."He replied, breathless.

"You have to mean it, Edward. Every moment. Don't be doing this to appease me. You have to mean it. Every touch, every kiss."

"I will." He closed the space between us for a moment.

"Every motion, every gesture." I whispered as his mouth moved to my jaw.

"I will." He repeated, moving his lips back to mine. We kissed lightly for another minute and broke apart. "Turn around, take your clothes off." He whispered his voice gruff.

I turned so my back was to him and began undressing. As I removed my shirt I looked over my shoulder to see Edward unbuttoning his and shrugging it off. I pulled my jeans off and then my socks and glanced over my shoulder again. Edward was in his boxers, kicking his pants away. I heard him walk up behind me and felt his hands grasp my shoulders gently. He held me for a moment, his arctic touch sending shivers down my spine.

One hand drifted down and an arm wrapped around me pressing me back against him. I sighed closing my eyes, tipping my head to the side as Edward brushed my hair out of the way of my neck and leaned down to place soft, feathery kisses along my skin. The hand that was still on my shoulder drifted down between my shoulder blades and stopped at my bra.

I let out another sigh as Edward kissed along the skin where my shoulder met my neck, his hand popping open the hook on my bra. He pulled his mouth away from me and stood up straight as both his hands bushed the straps down my arms. The garment hit the floor with a soft thud and I gasped as Edward turned me around and wrapped me up in his arms crushing my chest to his.

He kissed me passionately now, fixing my arms around his neck and then grasping my thigh and bringing it up to his hip. He held it there as we made out for several long minutes, our breathing becoming course and ragged. When we parted I looked up at him and ran my hand through his hair as I gazed into his liquid, topaz eyes. They smoldered back into mine and he smiled gently.

He leaned down, letting my leg go and pressed his lips to my pulse as his hands traveled down my back and into my underwear to first grasp my bottom, and then push my underwear down. I repeated the motion on him, smiling against his mouth as he kissed me. He groaned softly in my ear, but in delight with no animal edge to it. He kissed me again gently, scooping me up in his arms and carrying me over to his bed where he laid me down first and then got in hovering above me. I took his face in my hands and titled my head up to kiss him.

"Please mean it, Edward." I whispered into his shoulder.

"I swear." He responded.

"Hold me." He wrapped his arms around me pressing his body against mine. "The whole time, don't let me go."

"I won't."

We lay together, our arms wrapped around each other, trading kisses and light touches as our legs tangled. He didn't join our bodies yet, because this wasn't about sex. This was about loving each other. We were going slow, taking our time and leaning each other's bodies. He felt so good in my arms. Cold, stone-like, but overall just so good. I didn't care that his icy lips were freezing against my skin, they left burning trails everywhere he kissed me.

"I want to make love like this." I whispered, stroking his spine. "Lying just like this." We were flat against his bed, my back to the mattress, him flush on top of me, and our legs tangled.

"This position doesn't really allow for very deep penetration, you know." He whispered, threading his fingers through my hair.

"I don't care. This isn't about feeling friction, Edward. I don't want to worry about feeling friction. I just want to feel you." I thrust my hips up gently, my abdomen grazing his erection. He groaned softly, burying his face into the hollow of my throat. When he recovered he looked back up at me, his eyes soft, but there was no mistaking the burning fire in them. He kissed me gently, pushing me up against the pillows a little more and positioning himself.

"As far as you can." I whispered into his ear, burying my hand in his hair. He tightened his arms around me, preparing himself and we wrapped our legs together. Then he pushed forward hard enough to enter me, but gentle enough not to cause too much pain. My head went back and I felt Edward's cold lips at the front of my throat.

We barely moved together beyond just a gentle rocking motion up and down. Our mouths never left each other's skin. When Edward parted from me so I could breathe he would kiss up and down the side of my neck and I would bow my head forward to kiss his chest. He never let me go, even when he flipped us over so that I was on top, he still kept his arms around me.

With me on top, however, it allowed him to push a little further into me. I breathed his name over and over in his ear, but he never moved harder against me, never sped up. His hands ran up and down my back in long, light strokes, sometimes holding my shoulders, and sometimes one hand cupped the small of my back and one tangled in my hair.

"I want to try something new." He whispered.

"What?"

"We need to separate for a moment to do it."

"All right."

"Roll onto your side."

I did, facing away from him and Edward rolled onto his side as well. I knew what he was going to do as soon as he wrapped his arm across my stomach and pulled me back flush against his chest. He reached down and parted my thighs enough then pushed back into me from behind. The angle was completely new to both of us and we both gasped at the feel of it.

I could feel Edward's mouth wince where it was pressed to the back of my neck. I breathed his name loudly as he wrapped both his arms around me and pulled me even closer, forcing himself deeper inside my body. He moved his hips against mine and I gasped. After a minute I turned my head as far as I could and felt Edward's smooth lips on mine. I reached up behind me to thread my hand in his hair.

Our position never changed as we moved together, both of us getting closer to our end. We only broke apart from kissing just so I could breathe and then we immediately returned to it. Edward came with a sharp breath in my ear and he buried his head in my shoulder as he grunted, taking me gently. I followed right after him, my loud moan being silenced as his mouth covered mine.

We broke apart breathing heavily, my head limp against the pillow facing away from him. Edward's hand was stroking my abdomen, the other clutching my side as he placed soft kisses up and down the back of my neck.

Eventually I rolled over to face him, folding myself into his embrace and wrapping my arms around him as I pressed my head against his chest. "Thank you." I whispered, clutching him to me.

He held me tighter and I was forced to look up at him. His eyes shined matching the smile on his face as he bowed his head to press his lips to mine. I felt our legs tangle as we got closer and a comfortable silence passed between us as we just gazed at each other.

"I love you." He whispered, his fingers drawing light circular patterns on my back.

"I love you, too." I tilted my head up to kiss him again and then snuggled against his stone body as welcome exhaustion made it impossible for me to keep my eyes open.

~*~*~*~*~*

I was woken several hours later to the feel of Edward's icy lips on the back of my shoulder. I had rolled over so my back was to him, his mouth tracing a cool trail from my shoulder to the nape of my neck and back down. He wrapped an arm around me pulling me against his body and parted my thighs with his knee. I breathed his name turning my head to kiss him and moaning against his mouth as he pushed into me. He wrapped his arms around me holding me still as he began moving against my body breathing harshly in my ear.

I let him take me slowly, reveling in the feel of him and did my best to match my movements to his. It was an odd angle and I still wasn't use to it, but I was sure that with time we would grow accustomed. It was over quickly because both of us were so excited already from earlier, and the proximity of our bodies only heightened the intensity of everything. Edward thrust a little harder against me this time, not afraid of hurting me. I held his hands where they clasped my abdomen and moaned with him as waves of heat and pleasure flowed through my body and his.

We both stopped almost simultaneously, Edward pushing against me a few last times as his orgasm ebbed away. He buried his face between my shoulders blades panting hard, his arms forming an iron vice around my ribs. He squeezed me a little too hard for a moment, but let up as he breathed deeply.

"I have nothing to say." I whispered a few minutes later. "There are no words for this."

"There shouldn't be." Edward breathed, brushing my hair from my neck so he could press his lips to my pulse. "You should be speechless. You shouldn't be able to describe this. I know I can't."

I chuckled quietly and sighed, reaching my hand behind me to thread through his hair. Edward turned my face so he could kiss me. "So, does this count as an apology?"

"I suppose." I gazed into his eyes. They were soft gold, and buttery warm with emotion. "I think it counts more so as make-up sex."

Edward chuckled this time and bowed his head to kiss my side. "I've heard that that can be the best kind." He smiled against my skin.

"I don't know…" I said thoughtfully. "I think we'll have to fight more often to find out for sure."

"I don't want to fight with you." Edward kissed up my side until he got to my neck. I felt his teeth scrape my skin and I gasped, shivers running down my spine. "Don't worry. I'm not going to bite you."

"I know, I'm not scared. I didn't shake because I was scared. It felt… Good." I said slowly. Edward scraped his teeth against my pulse again. "Oh, God…" I moaned quietly.

"You really like that? After knowing everything you do about me, and knowing how hard this is for me, you really like that?" he asked. There was no accusation in his voice, no anger, only awe.

"Yes." I breathed. "It's wonderful."

"I can tell you what's wonderful." Edward whispered holding me a little tighter. He hugged my back to his chest and sighed. "This is wonderful, just holding you. Knowing you love me, no matter what. I couldn't ask for a more perfect moment or memory."

I sighed contently and reached down to hold his arms snuggling my head into the pillow. "Neither can I." I whispered. I felt Edward relax behind me, bury his nose in my hair and heard him breath deeply and stretch out along the length of the bed. A quiet peace fell over us as we lay there in the complete circle of each other. There was nothing else like it that I had ever experienced in my life. And I knew Edward hadn't either. We shared the moment like it should be shared between two people so deeply and unconditionally in love.

We shared it together.


End file.
